Alack, Alas!

"Misfortunes, we are told, are sent to test our fortitude and often reveal themselves as blessings in disguise." - Mary Bennett, Pride and Prejudice

Today's challenge is something difficult about our "lot in life" and how we are trying to overcome it. 

I should start by acknowledging my lot in life is not bad at all. I really can't complain too much. But if I did have to pick a difficulty, it would be to remain a person, my own entity, after I became a mom. For a lot of months I was only "mom." I could barely function enough to do my job and care for my son, husband, and house. Forget trying to do something I actually enjoyed! As time has gone on, I have tried to find more ways of doing things I actually enjoy. I've always loved music, but it has fallen by the wayside. This spring, I decided to volunteer to help with the high school's production of "The Fiddler on the Roof." I figured I would help with some of the songs or run parts. I ended up choreographing three scenes, including the wedding scene. Not exactly what I had in mind, but I had a blast doing it and really enjoyed the students. I am also trying to get back into music. Singing myself, possibly teaching some voice students if I can find some.

I finally decided to make use of my technology and the precious little time I have to myself (often revolving around the bathroom. Late at night. When everyone else is asleep.) to read more. Books for fun, not just about parenting. I try to take my lunch time and sometimes afternoon hours to watch a tv show or movie I enjoy. Not just one the hubby and I can tolerate together. I participated in a women's Bible study.

These are only small things, but they have started to restore the part of me I had lost for many months: myself!

I think life is a bit like juggling. Tossing a bunch of balls in the air and trying to keep them all going at the same time with some look of ease. Motherhood is just adding another ball...but it's adding a bowling ball to a bunch of ping pong balls! It can take the focus off just about everything else. I know that being a good mom is the biggest, most important, most challenging thing I will ever do, but I believe there should also be life going on outside of it.

As far as difficult lots in life go, this probably isn't the most weighty, trying one there is. People have lost loved spouses, parents, children. I suppose most of life is like juggling; just the size, weight, and challenge of what is being juggled changes for each person. Maybe some balls will get dropped. I'm just going to try to keep the most important ones in the air and maybe I can add in easier ones to make it a little more fun.

-Lisa