With My Apologies...

Story of My Life issued a challenge to "Blog every day in May".
Obviously, having just started my blog...today! I haven't blogged every day, but I thought it would be a good way to kick off my blog life.

An Apology
Dear Son,
Although I try to be a good mom, I fail more often than I even want to admit. Sometimes I let you just play on the floor while I play a game on my phone. Sometimes I let you eat toilet paper or tissues. Sometimes I get mad at you and talk in a voice very far from pleasant.

I just want to say: "I'm sorry."

I'm sorry that I threaten to sell you to gypsies. Even if there were gypsies in Nebraska, I would never sell you to them.

I'm sorry that I get mad when you don't sleep like I think you should or when you smile when you should be napping. 

I'm not the mother I want to be or thought I would be. Some days it feels like I fail more often than I succeed. You are such a sweet, joyful, stubborn little boy and I adore you. I am sorry I am not always the mother you deserve. I am not perfect; for that I am sorry. (I know perfection is not possible, especially in motherhood! It is just what Nathaniel deserves, as the wonderful little person he is!)

For all the times in the past I have failed you, I am sorry.

For all the times in the future I will fail you, I am sorry.

Just keep smiling...keep shining...knowing you can always count on me for sure.

And when I fail, know that I am sorry and I love you!

-Mommy